Why don't tennis players get married?
Because love means nothing to them.
---------------------------
I asked a fitness instructor if they could teach me how to do the splits.
They asked: "How fleible are you?".
I said: "I can't make Thursdays".
---------------------------
I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her personal trainer.
Me: "Okay, this isn't working out".
---------------------------
I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of her lipstick.
She still isn’t talking to me.
---------------------------
Remember when air for your tyres was free? Now it's 50p.
That's inflation for you.