When I was at school the other pupils voted me, "Pupil most likely to end up in a mental institution."
They got that wrong!
Turns out I'm actually, "Only pupil that didn't die in a mysterious unexplained accident."
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Here's a picture of me with the band REM.
That's me in the corner.
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A contestant accused me of being an unfair gameshow host.
Point taken.
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You know you're bored when you measure your own cock.
Now I'm bored AND disappointed.
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"Pickup artists" and "garbagemen" should switch names.
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A hotel minibar allows you to see into the future and find out what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.
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Before Facebook, I didn’t know any strangers.