Just downloaded a video of Luis Suarez's greatest moments.
It was only 3 mega bites.
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I shouted over to my neighbour earlier:
"Your kid's moustache looks stupid - get it shaved off."
"Give me one good reason why I should," he replied.
"I'll give you two, Abdul," I said. "She's seven."
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If you're a Liverpool FC fan you are currently doing one of these three things:
1) Defending Gerrard
2) Defending Suarez
3) French-kissing your sister
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The waiter asked, "Would you like to hear today's special?"
"Yes, please," I smiled.
"Today is special," he replied, then walked off.
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Luis Suarez is to be handed a 2 year punishment by Fifa.
He must spend another 2 years living in Liverpool.
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I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked wonderful or was it just the 20th outfit she'd tried and he just wanted to get to the party.
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Ryanair has just announced they're going to install non-reclining seats in their airplanes.
They came up with the idea last month after they saw a passenger who 'looked a bit comfortable'.
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It's nice to watch all the Africans playing at the World Cup.
Or France as they are called.