I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me.
She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
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I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up.
She said I had to stop wanking.
When I asked why, she said, "because I'm trying to examine you!"
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Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China?
Everybody won.
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Nothing worse than after sex, looking down and seeing that limp used condom hanging off your dick...
Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started.
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My doctor reckons I'm paranoid.
He didn't say it, but I know he's thinking it.