Jokes of the month

My mates call me gay because I can't stay on a skateboard for longer than a minute.

I'd like to see them try it with high heels on.

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I was reading through the ingredients for a fruit salad I'm making today and it said:

"Pineapples, five cubed."

I'm not sure though, 125 will probably be too many.

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I don't take orders from anyone.

Which is most probably why my restaurant went bust.

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When I broke up with my girlfriend she started crying and said I was a self-centred bastard.

You should've seen the look on my face.

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Dolly Parton in BBC Radio 2 interview:

'My father couldn't read or write. But he was a very intelligent man, he could have been anything.'

Well, except a writer.