Suddenly funny

Tour de France riders need to eat the equivalent of 27 cheeseburgers a day.

I guess all I need now is a bike.


"I can't believe Dave's gone and I'm going to have to raise three children on my own," the young mother sobbed after the police officer informed her that Dave's truck had ploughed directly into a bus.

"Don't worry," the policeman reassured her, "you won't have to do that."

"What? He survived?"

"No, but your children were on the bus."


Yesterday, I got so depressed, I spent the entire day listening to Celine Dion records.

Or that's what I thought, until I realised my cat had fallen into the dryer.


The price of grooming products is getting ridiculous, 70p for a small tube of Smarties!


People think that trans women are not real women.

Yet, their constant whining, attention-seeking and determination to fucking spoil everything suggest otherwise!


BBC News: A man from Lancashire has been shot by police in Texas.

Fuck me, that's one hell of a good shot.


"Suddenly, the phone rang..."

Does a phone ever ring not suddenly?

Blah, blah, blah