BREAKING NEWS...
A nine year old girl has disappeared after using moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger.
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Police say their investigation into the shooting at the YouTube headquarters has been hampered by having to sit through a 5 second advert before interviewing each witness.
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Every third chick's Tinder profile specifies a height, beneath which she's not interested.
My Tinder profile specifies a weight, ABOVE which I'M not interested.
Weight can be changed. Height cannot.
And yet, somehow, I’m the arsehole? Or is that not how equality works?
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My girlfriend is off out to buy a dominatrix outfit on Saturday.
Although she prefers to call it a wedding dress.
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Me and my mate where having a few drinks last night telling each other our best chat up lines.
Some of his were so good, I ended up back at his place.
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Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures.
Girl goes to Starbucks: 47 pictures.
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The toothbrush was invented in Norfolk.
Anywhere else, it would've been called a teethbrush.
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What does a Man City fan do, straight after beating Barcelona in the Champions League final?
Turns off his Playstation & jumps back into bed with his sister.
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I have blue eyes. I got them from my dad.
My mum has black eyes. She also got them from my dad.