I like to scare deaf people by yawning.
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The new barman at my local is black. Which I suppose is normal, there's fuck loads of niggers behind bars.
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When you're a fat kid you only get to be two things.
Funny and a goalkeeper.
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How are Manchester United meant to know if they take the real Ji Sung Park home with them?
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During an experimental night in bed with my girlfriend I told her that I really wanted to try skat.
I was amazed that she said that she would be willing to try, and promptly put plastic sheeting down and threw herself onto it.
So I began.....
Skip bop do wop skibbide do wop...
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My latest phone bill is £300!
That's the last time I call the Stuttering Sluts sex line.
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I'm celebrating National Premature Ejaculation Day today but it's not actually until next week.
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When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?
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Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.