Saturday nite fun

Whats the best way to pick up American girls?

Use a crane.

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A hacker attack briefly shut down Twitter on Thursday.
Millions of twitterers were forced to talk to each other the old fashioned way.
Through Facebook.

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My girlfriend showed me a pregnancy test she took last night, and the result was positive.

I said, "Should we keep it?"

"No point" she replied, "You can only use them once."

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A girl at work was disgusted when she saw a cum stain on my work trousers.

I apologised and explained I had eaten spaghetti carbonara on my lunch break.

For some reason, pasta really turns me on.

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Regularly masturbating and ejaculating is not acceptable, in some people's eyes.

Blah, blah, blah