Prince William's stag do is going to be very weird...
Stuffing pictures of his Gran down the bras of strippers!
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I can't believe I got sacked from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.
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The diary of Hermione Granger age 14
Wednesday : 10:30pm
Can't sleep & very bored.
All I have to keep myself occupied is this magic wand thing with its stupid bloody vibrating tip and.............. hold it a second !!
Thursday
Busy
Friday
Busy
Saturday
Busy
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I just got kicked out of my local Laser Tag and the police were called.
Apparently knifing somebody to save ammo is not allowed.
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I met a girl in the pub last night and we ended up back at my place.
I didn't have a fucking clue what I was getting myself into.
So I politely asked her to shave it.
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I'm the kind of person who likes to tease violent muggers by wearing headphones down a dark alleyway but having no iPod for them to steal.
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What's it called when a fat, ugly girl takes a picture of herself from some special angle that makes her look less ugly?
Facebook.