My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans.
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but... Look at what kids your age make in China!"
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I called the doctor "My wife is going into labour! What should I do?"
"Is this her first child?" he asked.
"No, this is her husband."
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I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
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My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: "How do you know it was going to school?"
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I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
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I just had a near sex experience.
My wife flashed before my eyes.