A scouser started working at my office this morning.
It's about time - he's been here two fucking years.
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Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them whilst driving.
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How to speak Geordie:
Now say these words.... as they are, without accent.
Ligature, Yeff, Gutter, Fierce, Lake, Appearer, Tets.
Or...
Look at you. You've got a face like a pair of tits.
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I was on Family Fortunes recently. Where I was asked: "to name something associated with fairies".
Apparently, "Brighton" wasn't the answer they were looking for.
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What's even better than snatching a kiss?
Vice versa.
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I stumbled across the wife’s secret diary this morning.
Her days are numbered.