Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
Because if it walked, it'd get mugged.
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Which ship has never docked in Liverpool?
The Premiership.
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Robbie cost twenty million. We call him our wonder player.
Why's that?
Everytime he plays we wonder why we bothered to buy him!
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What does a Liverpool fan do after watching his team win the Premiership?
Turns his Playstation off and gets into bed with his sister.
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A report out today says 60% of girls under 16 in Liverpool are Binge drinking on a regular basis.
I am shocked, who the fuck is looking after their kids?
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Define confusion.
Father's Day in Liverpool.
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Why was the airport in Liverpool named after John Lennon?
Because that's the first place he went when he made a bit of money.