If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
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A man never really knows just how much he farts.
Until he spends 24 hours with a girl he likes.
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Pretty soon the only place you will be able to buy a Confederate flag will be the black market.
Oh the irony.
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I'm not saying my credit record is bad, but the bank wouldn't even lend me a pen to fill out my loan application.
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You know it must be a boring porn video when you start wondering if a woman's long, fake nails hurt her when she's masturbating.
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Me and the wife found each other on Match.com...
3 years after we got married.
Which was awkward.
Well, porn films get boring after you finish masturbating. And, anyway, who the hell watches porn for the action? Everybody wants the ACTION!