Watching the Coca-Cola Christmas truck commercial, it suddenly struck me that everyone in it is white.
But then you can't see inside the back of the trucks.
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How do architects, engineers and male pornstars gain fame?
Through their erections.
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I saw this faggot wearing a wig and asked him, "Oi, Tranny boy, what do you 'identify' as?"
"A judge," he replied, as my trial got off to an abysmal start.
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"I can't believe Dave's gone and I'm going to have to raise three children on my own," the young mother sobbed after the police officer informed her that Dave's truck had ploughed directly into a bus.
"Don't worry," the policeman reassured her, "you won't have to do that."
"What? He survived?"
"No, but your children were on the bus."
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Yesterday, I got so depressed, I spent the entire day listening to Celine Dion records.
Or that's what I thought, until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer.