Ha - mildly amusing
Haha - laughing
Hahaha - sarcastic laughing
Hahahaha - Staying Alive
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England: Instead of boycotting the World Cup, just play the first three games and then come home.
Like you normally do.
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Today is international women’s day.
It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready...
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Maybe plants are farming us, supplying us with oxygen until we all die, then decompose in the ground and feed them.
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Women will not date a guy who lives with his mother, but they will date a guy who lives with his wife.
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I went to a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter asked, "How was your meal, sir?"
"It was very nice. My compliments to the gardener."
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*First woman on the moon*
Woman: Houston, we have a problem.
Tech Team: What?
Woman: Never mind.
Tech Team: What's the problem?
Woman: Nothing.
Tech Team: Please tell us.
Woman: You know the problem...
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My wife is in hospital after being beaten up for using the 'N' word.
Next time I ask for a beer from the fridge, she'd better use the 'Y' word.
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Just had a weird message from my girlfriend on my walkie talkie.
"Our relationship is".
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I'm not sexist.
When two equally qualified people apply for a job, I always choose the woman.
Saves me a fortune in wages.
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If my child turns out to be transgendered, they can use whatever bathroom they please... at the orphanage.
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Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?"
She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".
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Has anyone else noticed the Miss Universe beauty pagent has only ever been won by people from Earth!
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Whoever snuck the 's' into 'fast food' was a clever bastard.