Parents are worried about two things these days:
1. What their sons download.
2. What their daughters upload.
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How to start an argument online:
1. Express an opinion.
2. Wait.
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I never think twice about helping others.
In fact, I never think once about it.
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My wife and I are always playing pranks on each other. This morning I swapped her mouthwash for bleach.
Then when I came home today I found she'd changed the locks. Classic.
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What's the difference between modern art and vandalism?
A council grant.
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I can't believe how much weight the wife's put on since she's been off work.
I'll be glad when the weekend's over.
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For all those that got bad results in their A levels.
Providing you're able to press the play and stop button on a CD player with good timing, you could always become a world famous DJ.
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I found one of my dads old porno videos today.
Did you know, back in the 70's they used to use pubic hair to censor out the genitals?