Life was so simple before I got married.
I had absolutely no idea there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge.
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I've opened a restaurant called "Peace and Quiet" .
Kid's meals are £250.
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The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic load.
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I love being a doctor in a town full of blondes.
It's been two years and they still haven't worked out that women don't have prostates.
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My wife told me she wanted to be shagged like a porn star.
Fuck that! Have you seen plumbers' call-out fees?
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I've just seen my neighbour doing the walk of shame.
She's off shopping at Aldi.