Funny as a tall order

Maybe now some of the women footballers will have the courage and bravery to come out as straight.

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My girlfriend hates giving me oral sex.

I think that's what she's trying to say, anyway.

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Since becoming transgender I spend a lot of time in women's change rooms.

My vagina often gets quite stiff.

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My wife said, "Would you like to try a bit of role reversal tonight?"

"Fuck off," I replied, "I've got a headache."

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Me: Mum, I'm going to my girlfriend's.

Mum: Use protection.

Me: I'm 15.

Mum: I'm 30.

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Do Amish women know it's a romantic candlelit dinner or figure it's just a regular dinner?

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My boss told me that as a security guard, it's my job to watch the office.

I'm not sure what it's it got to do with security, but I'm on season six.

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Cop pulled me over this morning. "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Is it because you want to see how tall I am?"

"Sir, get out of the car."

"See, I knew it!"

Blah, blah, blah