Lidl management today said that because of the panic buying and pandemonium in their stores that they are taking drastic action and opening another till.
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- Darling, fancy putting on a nurses uniform?
- Ooh, cheeky boy... You feeling horny?
- Nah... We've run out of bread!
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Anyone wishing to show their appreciation for Amazon delivery drivers are asked to clap at their homes tomorrow anytime between 9AM and 6PM.
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I hope the pubs open soon, I need to cut down on my drinking.
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When shopping in Harrods, ensure people stay at least two meters away from you by holding a Lidl carrier bag.
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Apparently, gluten allergies don't exist during food shortages.