I just donated 50 quid to an LGBT group.
I really hope it helps them find a cure.
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A Liverpool pensioner has died and left all his worldly possessions to complete strangers.
Although they were the original owners.
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I came out of Asda this morning and there was a woman crying her eyes out.
She'd lost all her holiday money.
I felt so sorry for her I gave her £50.
I don't usually do that kind of thing but I'd just found £2000 in the carpark.
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I said to my wife, "I saw a woman with her tits out on the bus feeding her son."
She said, "It's natural."
"Natural?" I replied, "She was giving him crisps!"
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My nickname at school was Scarface.
I was brilliant at knitting.
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My mate with a stutter was telling me about his nan.
By the end of it we were all singing "Hey Jude".
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Is my Thai girlfriend really a guy?
Something inside me says yes...