A funny day!

PIZZA GUY: Your total is $26.34

ME: I can’t afford that...

PIZZA GUY: Well, you’ll have to pay some other way.

ME: [takes out wallet] Wait, I forgot I had 30 dollars.

PORN DIRECTOR: Cut! The fuck are you doing?


Man United fans have welcomed the decision to continue the HS2 line onto Manchester so they can all get home to London quicker.


Studies suggest that 50% of Americans will be obese by 2030.

They really think they can get it as low as that?


Anyone wishing to show their appreciation for Amazon delivery drivers are asked to clap at their homes tomorrow anytime between 9am and 6pm.


If modern society has taught us anything, it's that the less a person is qualified to have an opinion...

The more likely she is to express it.


Not in jail...

Not in the hospital...

Not in the grave...

Another successful week!

Blah, blah, blah