Poante fara numar

Over the past week, I've burgled ten houses in Liverpool.

It feels great to get my stuff back.

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What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

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Survey: 64% of U.S. students can't find Ukraine on a map.

Doesn't matter, really. Soon, nobody will.

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I love playing mind games with my wife.

Today I bought her some flowers and I haven't done anything wrong.

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We couldn't get into a club, so I got my wife to show her tits to the bouncer.

Then we sneaked in while he was being sick.

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I managed to stop smoking last week.

Then I discovered I'm actually addicted to standing around meaninglessly in the fucking cold.