23 Jan 2014 | KterinK

Mistouri

The Swiss must've been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.

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David Moyes has promised fans of Manchester United that they will be in a major European competition next year... even if he has to write the song himself.

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At a job interview: "What are your strengths?"

"I'm an optimist and a positive thinker."

"Can you give me an example?"

"Yes, when do I start?"

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Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new...."

"Anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic.

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Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children.

Nowadays, the average child has four parents.

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I went to a vegetarian restaurant last night and when I'd finished the waiter asked, "How was your meal, sir?"

"It was very nice," I replied. "My compliments to the gardener."

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A man with a stutter is visiting the doctor.

"How's the stutter?" asks the doctor.

"It's g-getting better. My mate calls me D-Donkey," replies the man.

"Any idea why?" the doctor asks.

"No, but he aw he aw he aw he always calls me that."

2 comentarii

30 Jan 2014 la 05:34
Ana

Nu m-am prins de ultima...

30 Jan 2014 la 07:56
pinkISH

daca o citesti cu voce tare, o sa vezi ca "he aw" repetat suna a raget de magar :D

Donkeys make a connected two-pitch sound that people generally describe as "hee-haw" with the "hee" more high pitched and the "haw" being lower pitched.

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