Laughin’ all the way

Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?
Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram.
Son: Thanks, dad!
Dad: No problem, Alan.

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Simply put a % sign after your age to see how dead you are...

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I was telling my mate someone had wrote 'Pakis fuck off, this is our town' on a wall near my house.

"Good", he said, "it's great to see us standing up for ourselves for once".

"It was written in Polish", I replied.

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My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with.
I probably should've stopped when I got to her.

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Dear Deidre,

The other day standing by my bedroom window, I saw my neighbour's daughter sunbathing topless in the garden. As I was knocking one out, I turned to notice my Wife standing there, arms crossed and staring at me...

Is she a pervert?

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Lesbians, if you hate men so much, stop trying to look like them!

You don't see jews dressed as nazis.