Laugh tracks

We broke up.

But she said we could still be cousins.

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Three words to ruin a man's ego...

"Is it in?"

Three words to ruin a woman's ego...

"I don't know."

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I don't think any less of my daughter for being a lesbian.

In fact, I probably think of her more.

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"Dave, describe your sex life in two words."

"My what?"

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My Doctor shook his head and said ,"I wish you`d come to me earlier."

"I would have but your receptionist told me to take a seat in the waiting room." I replied.

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Nothing is more frustrating than when a girl you're deeply attracted to tells you she thinks of you as a brother.

Unless she says it in a Norfolk accent.