21 Aug 2014 | KterinK

Laugh together

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything.

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When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It's pain only for others.

It's the same thing when you are stupid.

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Martin Scorsese's film "The Wolf of Wall Street" broke a record by using the word "Fuck" or "Fucking" 506 times.

That actually beats a record set by my dad in 2003, trying to put an IKEA chair together.

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Why are Southampton nicknamed The Saints ?

Because all their players have gone to a better place

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This nerd in Sheffield set a world record by solving a Rubik's cube in 43 seconds using only one hand.

Then he went home and celebrated, again using only one hand.

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There's a new magazine for gay military members.

It's mainly just photos of privates.

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I had to take my 10-year-old daughter to a Justin Bieber concert.

The wife wouldn't go, and I didn't want to go on my own yet again.

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People used to see me driving a large car and they would say, "You're compensating for your tiny penis."

And now I drive with clothes on.