Hazlii

Prince William has been asked to take on extra royal duties.

Well, it's not as though he has got his hands full, is it!

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As a kid, I used to torture ants with a magnifying glass and the sun.

I'd make them read it.

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I've just been to my first Muslim wedding.

It was fantastic when everybody started clapping at the final words of the ceremony:

"You may now meet the bride."

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I went on a blind date with a Paki girl last night.

As I looked at her strangely across the table, she leant forward and whispered, "I like it rough."

"We'll, I don't," I replied. "I think you'd look much better if your face was clean shaven."