Good ole decent humor

My mate rang me and asked, "What're you doing at the moment?"

I said, "Probably failing my driving test."

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"Dear, why are there broken condoms on our couch?"

"Dave...
Would you please call our children by their names!"

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I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

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I took a girl back to my flat.

"You haven't removed many bras have you?" she sighed.

"What gave it away?"

"The scissors, mainly."

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My mate asked me: "What is the shortest race in the Olympics?"

After thinking for a few minutes, I came up with an answer:

"Chinese," I replied.