Glume de vacanta

Ha - mildly amusing
Haha - laughing
Hahaha - sarcastic laughing
Hahahaha - Staying Alive

---------------------------------------------

England: Instead of boycotting the World Cup, just play the first three games and then come home.

Like you normally do.

---------------------------------------------

Today is international women’s day.

It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready...

---------------------------------------------

Maybe plants are farming us, supplying us with oxygen until we all die, then decompose in the ground and feed them.

---------------------------------------------

Women will not date a guy who lives with his mother, but they will date a guy who lives with his wife.

---------------------------------------------

I went to a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter asked, "How was your meal, sir?"

"It was very nice. My compliments to the gardener."

---------------------------------------------

*First woman on the moon*

Woman: Houston, we have a problem.
Tech Team: What?
Woman: Never mind.
Tech Team: What's the problem?
Woman: Nothing.
Tech Team: Please tell us.
Woman: You know the problem...

---------------------------------------------

My wife is in hospital after being beaten up for using the 'N' word.

Next time I ask for a beer from the fridge, she'd better use the 'Y' word.

---------------------------------------------

Just had a weird message from my girlfriend on my walkie talkie.

"Our relationship is".

---------------------------------------------

I'm not sexist.

When two equally qualified people apply for a job, I always choose the woman.

Saves me a fortune in wages.

---------------------------------------------

If my child turns out to be transgendered, they can use whatever bathroom they please... at the orphanage.

---------------------------------------------

Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?"

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".

---------------------------------------------

Has anyone else noticed the Miss Universe beauty pagent has only ever been won by people from Earth!

---------------------------------------------

Whoever snuck the 's' into 'fast food' was a clever bastard.