Funny, kinda

Life was so simple before I got married.

I had absolutely no idea there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge.

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I've opened a restaurant called "Peace and Quiet" .

Kid's meals are £250.

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The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic load.

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I love being a doctor in a town full of blondes.

It's been two years and they still haven't worked out that women don't have prostates.

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My wife told me she wanted to be shagged like a porn star.

Fuck that! Have you seen plumbers' call-out fees?

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I've just seen my neighbour doing the walk of shame.

She's off shopping at Aldi.