14 Mar 2013 | KterinK

Funnier than thou

Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?

Applicant: Hmm... probably having sex with my boss's wife.

Interviewer: Excuse me?

Applicant: Nah, I'm only kidding. Definitely making jokes at inappropriate times.

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I was reading in the Daily Mail about how Britain will be flooded with Romanian immigrants next year, who are notorious for benefit scrounging and anti-social behaviour.

Who says immigrants don't integrate well?

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Bad idea to scratch both my armpits at the same time during that football match in Brixton.

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I'm only a few inches away from having a gigantic cock.

I thought to myself as I stood naked in the prison showers.

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We have a very old saying in England.

Salem alaikum allahu Akbar.

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What have a Scottish £10 note and a Pakistani got in common?

Once they get into England you can never get rid of them.

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I went into a pub and said to the guy serving, 'How much is a pint of lager?'

He replied, 'Five hundred and sixty-eight millilitres.'

Sarcastic barsteward.

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I got home at 3 AM steaming drunk and half a kebab down my shirt. My wife had a fit.

I thought "I'll sort her out in the morning. I'm not gonna let her epilepsy ruin my night".