22 May 2014 | KterinK

Fun times, mate!

I'm already bored with my time machine, and I've only had it a year.

Probably won't bother getting it.

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What do you call 22 people sitting around a TV watching the World Cup Final?

The England World Cup Squad.

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My wife sent me a text last week:

'When you get home from work I'm going to strip naked and do a sexy dance for you'

So far I have accumulated 94 hours overtime.

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Feeling down? Depressed? Suicidal? Need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk to?

Well fuck off then, no one forced you to support Liverpool.