Din nou, Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Woody Allen

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats.
Woody Allen

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Woody Allen

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Woody Allen

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Woody Allen

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
Woody Allen

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
Woody Allen

Sex between 2 people is a beautiful thing; between 5 it's fantastic.
Woody Allen

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
Woody Allen

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody Allen

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
Woody Allen

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Woody Allen