Casa de Pensii nu mai are bani. Dupa ce si-au facut un sediu de te-ntrebai de unde vin fondurile, se pare ca au cheltuit toti banii alocati pentru el. Altfel de ce-ar avea asa ceva pe usa?

I tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling.

It's cheaper than a smoke alarm.

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Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"

He winked at me and said, "Well, I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."

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My Grandad from Liverpool doesn't think he'll ever see his beloved Reds win the title again in his lifetime.

"Come on Grandad," I said, "You're still only 28."

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"For Pete's sake, I'm getting sick and tired of you accusing me of cheating on you," said my wife.

"Who's Pete?" I replied.

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My mum knocked on my bedroom door, "My God, it sounds like you're strangling a cat in there, I don't think those violin lessons we've paid for have worked."

"Maybe it'd help if you'd bought me a violin," I quietly muttered as I picked up another kitten.

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I asked my wife what she would like for an anniversary gift.
She said, "Something gold, I like gold."
I asked, "Yes, but what?"
She said, "I honestly don't mind, just something gold."
She had very little grounds for any argument as I handed her a fish.

Clipul asta e peste tot pe net. Cu toate astea, e prea tare ca sa lipseasca de la mine de pe blog. Pentru posterioritate!

Ambele, zic eu, dar e amuzant

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent................. 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands......................... 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection........................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris................. 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot............... 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary............................... 12 Calories
69 lying down........................... 78 Calories
69 standing up........................ 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow........................... 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier...................... 912 Calories

ORGASMIC:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.......................................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately....................................... 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...... 816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old.......................... 36 Calories
30-39 years............................... 80 Calories
40-49 years............................. 124 Calories
50-59 years............................. 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over............................ Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door....... 3521 Calories

Pe net circula de mult timp o poza cu o fereastra aiurea:

In Titan, mai precis in N3, exista un exemplu asemanator:

Arhitecti sunt peste tot. Probabil se vor imputina la un eventual cutremur mai serios. Din pacate, impreuna cu vecinii lor.

Acum multi ani circula pe net fotografia cu CD-ul oglinda:

Iata ca acum avem parte de un veritabil Swiss Army CD, care taie si salam:

Asteptam cu interes fotografii cu CD-ul ca jucarie sexuala pentru cei mai putin dotati, ca frisbee si aparat anti-radar am vazut pana acum.

Magie? Nu. Caterinca? Oleaca.