5 Oct 2008 | KterinK

Bwahahaha

My grandad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.

"It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

A white lie: "No dear, your bum doesn't look big in those jeans".

A black lie: "I didn't steal no mother fuckin' car".

-------------------------------------------------------------------

My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler.

I'd do anything to win her back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I found that if you run out of KY Jelly and are really desperate, foreplay will work too.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw a sign in McDonald's today, it said 'we do not accept £50 notes'.

Fuck me, if I had a £50 note, I wouldn't be eating in McDonald's.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I fell off a 50ft ladder yesterday... luckily I was on the bottom step.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

My girlfriend said she wanted to try and get rid of her love handles.

I said she would look fucking stupid without any ears.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

If women are so good at multi-tasking, how come my wife can never have an orgasm at the same time as we're having sex?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Who says men can't multi-task?

I can fuck my girlfriend and think about her sister at the same time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ever had one of those e-mails about cock-extensions?

It's funny how they always know who to send it to.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I go away on holiday next week. One of my colleagues has just asked me if he could come in my suitcase.

That's quite an odd fetish I thought.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

What's worse than finding your sister in bed with your dad?

Being jealous...

2 comentarii

5 Oct 2008 la 18:37
Cata

"What’s worse than finding your sister in bed with your dad?

Being jealous…"

on your sister or on your dad ? :))

5 Oct 2008 la 22:31
pinkISH

that's the spirit!!! :))))))))))))))

Linkuri