11 Nov 2013 | KterinK

And then a sick joke

Man found hanged in his flat, 8 years after committing suicide.

Sort of proves his point, really.

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"Have you not got a girlfriend?"

"No, dad."

"Do you think you will ever get a girlfriend?

"No, dad, not at all."

"Are you gay?

"No, dad, and will you please fuck off with your lesbian fantasies."

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The year is 2013. There are machines which can look through skin and see bones. There are machines which keep you alive when your brain and heart have stopped. There's even a machine that can tell you who your parents are with a single drop of spit. However, when I need my prostate checking, a man sticks his finger up my arsehole and wriggles it about a bit.

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I can't see those guns made on 3D printers catching on.

If HP make the cartridges, it will be cheaper to buy an AK-47.

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"I'm going to fuck you over!' means two completely different things, depending on whether you're talking face to face... or on a walkie-talkie.

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As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, "Dave, you look like shit."

"Last night was crazy." I replied.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Me, my mate Steve and my mate Trevor all got very drunk," I replied. "And we ended up going back to Trevor's girlfriends flat and having a threesome."

"Don't you mean a foursome?" he asked.

"No, she was out."

2 comentarii

13 Nov 2013 la 15:08
Ana

I don't buy the first one. You can't stop paying bills for 8 weeks without someone noticing, let alone for 8 years... ;))

13 Nov 2013 la 15:20
pinkISH

Maybe he was a Romanian cioban, living in Cuca Macaii, far from the village, somewhere la dracu' cu carti :D

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